Extreme sex OCD: Pure, the TV drama that's set to smash taboos

极端性强迫症：电视剧《纯洁》将打破禁忌。

Trying to navigate the world with a mind that renders almost everyone you see either naked or engaged in sexual congress is less fun than it may sound. It is exhausting, in fact, to spend a whole day in extreme cognitive dissonance about whether or not you want to be in flagrante delicto with a TV presenter, simply because she appeared on your screen that morning. Such is the mind of 24-year-old Marnie, the protagonist in Channel 4’s new primetime drama, Pure.

试图通过向人展示你看到的一些裸体和饱含性暗示的社交场的做法来诱导世人的做法可能没有想象中的那么有趣。有时候你可能一整天都在纠结自己和一个电视主持人一起出现在电视屏幕上会不会产生一些绯闻，而你只不过恰好那天早上出现在了屏幕上而已。这便是即将在第四频道黄金时段上映的电视剧《纯洁》里的女主人公玛妮的心理状态。

The show explores a young woman’s experience with obsessive compulsive disorder. We join Marnie on a journey from a place of frightening inner chaos to a tentatively accepting one, when she is finally able to give a name to the way she thinks. After a calamitous event at her parents’ 25th wedding anniversary in the Scottish Borders, Marnie – played by newcomer Charly Clive – boards a coach to London with nothing in the way of a plan.

节目旨在研究一些有强迫症的年轻妇女，我们跟着玛尼踏上了旅程，她想离开这个紧张压抑恐惧的地方到一个自己心理上能接受的地方去，但她并不知道这样的地方在哪里，当她开始想到这个地方的时候她遇到了查理，就在出席她父亲结婚25周年的纪念日之后没多久，他们就这样漫无目的地上了去伦敦的火车。

Marnie lives with a manifestation of OCD nicknamed Pure O, defined by repeated intrusive thoughts that concern either the individual or others around them. The focus can be on almost anything tormenting – violent acts, overwhelming doubts and particularly sexual imagery. It’s the latter that plagues Marnie. Near the start of the series, she tells us she can “lose an entire day thinking about milking my mum, fingering a horse or getting tea-bagged by my dentist”.

玛尼的生活有着明显的强迫症表现，有人将这种症结枉自定义为“零度纯洁”，指带某种离群索居或者孤芳自赏的状态。在这种状态里人们的焦点可能会聚集在任何令人感到折磨的事情上，比如暴力行为，疑神疑鬼，甚至是性幻想，而后者最令玛尼感到崩溃。在剧情的开始，她告诉我们说“我会不惜浪费一整天的时间去想象给我妈泡牛奶浴，用手指戳一匹马或者是我的牙医正帮我准备一个吊茶包。”

In Pure, a calamitous event at her parents’ anniversary prompts Marnie to flee.

Pure was written by another relative newcomer, Kirstie Swain, based on the book of the same name by Rose Cartwright. The book came to be after Cartwright wrote a piece about living with Pure O for Guardian Weekend in 2013, laying bare the secret inner world she’d occupied for a decade. “People with Pure O experience repetitive thoughts, doubts and mental images about things such as sex, blasphemy and murder,” she wrote. “Needless to say, I don’t feel too ‘pure’ when I’ve woken every morning for a fortnight to the crystalline thought of assholes.”

在片中，她父亲的结婚纪念日里发生的一件灾难性的事情促使了玛尼的逃离。《纯洁》有新晋编剧kirstie改编自rose cartwright的同名小说，rose在2013年还给卫报周末版写过一些关于“零度纯洁”的专栏。她向人们赤裸裸地展示了她在过去20年里一直隐藏的内心世界。“零度纯洁的人会不断重复自己的想法，怀疑，精神幻想，比如性，亵渎神明还有谋杀，”她写道。“我根本就没觉得自己很纯洁，尤其是当我一醒来意识到自己的那些纯洁而又肮脏的想法的时候。”

Kirstie swain has used Cartwright’s experiences as a prompt to tell a compelling story about cyclical worrying and the impact it can have on a person’s life; not just in their own head, but also on their relationships with family, friends, lovers and colleagues. “A lot of people think that mental health is just about the relationship with yourself, but it colours how you relate to everyone,” says Swain. “Mental health is your entire worldview.”

kirstie利用rose的自身经历向人们展示了那种不断重复循环的想法给人们的生活带来的影响和担忧；这不仅仅只是他们自己的想法，同样也会影响他们的家庭，朋友，爱人以及同事。“很多人认为心理健康只关系你自己，但这是不对的，它同样会影响你和所有人的关系。“kirstie说。“心理健康也是属于你整个世界观的一部分。”

Pure took two and a half years to make, including months of research, talking to psychologists, charities and people with OCD. Swain says the show also reflects her own life. “I read the book and said ‘fuck’ out loud so many times. As a female story about anxiety, there was so much I related to. I have always been an obsessive worrier and was a very anxious child. Rose and I had a similar rural upbringing” – Swain is from the Scottish Borders, Cartwright from the Black Country. “We both moved to London to try and find out who we were, and her book really helped me.”

《纯洁》历时两年半完成，包括数个月的调研，我们咨询了许多心理学家，慈善机构和一些有强迫症的人。kirstie表示该片折射出了她自己的生活状态。我读过这本书然后说了很多次“操”。作为一部具有女性焦虑色彩的书，里面有太多和我产生共鸣的地方。我经常会过度地担心，rose和我有着类似的农村长大的经历，我是一个充满了焦虑的孩子。kirstie swain来自苏格兰边境，rose cartwright则来自

黑乡，“我们都试图通过搬到伦敦来认识自己，她的书真的有帮到我。”

As a child, Swain had panic attacks but was “told for ages” it was epilepsy until, finally, it was suggested she had panic disorder. “Pure gave me renewed language to talk about anxiety and made me go to the doctor,” she says. “To be a part of Rose’s story and get the chance to start a wider conversation is an incredible privilege.”

小时候，swain就有无端的恐惧症但大人们总是认为这只是一种癫痫的症状，直到最后才发现这是一种无端恐惧的心理疾病。“这部片子从新的视角和语言讨论了焦虑的状态，我再也不用担心去看医生了，”她说“成为rose的故事中的一部分并有机会开启更广泛的对话是一种难以置信的特权。”

It was important to me that the series was true to my distress – because, even though I know now I am not the only one, there was a long time that I didn't

Serenely focused in a plant-heavy nook in her London workspace, Cartwright says that the thought of aspects of herself she kept secret and cloaked in shame for so long playing out on screen feels “dream-like”. No wonder. Living with intrusive thoughts and the endless behaviour modifications they induce can be debilitating. (“Why did I think that? Do I really want to do that to Lorraine?” Marnie asks herself, after fixating on doing something rather extreme with Lorraine Kelly.)

这部片子简直就是我目前困境的一剂良药，因为现在我知道了我并不是一个人，过去很长一段时间我都没有认真地关注她在伦敦的工作室，cartwright表示长期以来隐藏在她内心里的那些想法现在被搬上了荧幕感觉就像做梦一样。毫无疑问，和那些无尽的内心挣扎和修正的心理行为打交道会让我们变得越来越衰弱，我为什么要那样想呢？我真的要对lorraine那样做吗？玛尼问自己。她过去对lorraine做出了许多苛刻的行为。

To question your entire identity on a minute-by-minute basis is a lonely experience. It’s the idea of helping to reduce the sense of isolation that moves Cartwright the most. “When I was younger, I had no idea what was happening to me. My thoughts were so obscene and the anxiety I experienced so intense, that it seemed there was no way out.” She contemplated suicide. “I had no idea there would be anyone else like me,” she says.

时时刻刻地反省自己本身就是一件孤独的经历，它可以有助于减少自己与外界的隔离感。“我年轻的时候，我根本不知道发生了什么，我的想法总是很龌鹾，而且没完没了，我没想到有人也会和我一样。”

There are. Figures from the charity OCD-UK suggest that three quarters of a million people are living with life-affecting OCD in the UK. It is difficult to put a number on Pure O because it is a term used by sufferers rather than a clear clinical distinction, but it is highly likely that, given the taboo nature of many areas of sex and a highly anxious brain’s tendency to fixate on what it “shouldn’t”, many others are living a version of Cartwright’s – and Marnie’s – experience.

根据英国强迫症研究中心的数据显示，在英国一百万人中有四分之三的人都有强迫症。绝对纯洁的人几乎没有，因为这是“受害者”使用的术语而不是确切的临床区别定义，但是由于许多地方存在着性的天然禁忌和大脑里强烈的关于“不应该那么做”的倾向和束缚，所以很多人仍然处于那种类似玛尼所经历的“经验”状态。

‘I hope teenagers will secretly watch it’ …

The fact Pure has been made must be profoundly validating to the younger Cartwright, I suggest. Her eyes glisten. Her voice splinters. “I get emotional every time I talk about this because, yes, like you can’t imagine. The process of making it was very healing.” Cartwright says she is in a good place now and that, although intrusive thoughts are still a part of her life, having therapy has helped her to manage and accept them. Being on hand to guide Marnie through her own experience was, she says, “almost like another kind of exposure therapy”.

“我希望年轻人也能地看到这部片子。”

这部片子深刻地反映了年轻时作者的样子，她的眼里闪烁着光芒，她的声带还未成型。“每次当我谈论这个话题的时候都回变得很情绪化，是的，你很难想象，影片制作的过程非常令人治愈。”cartwright说现在她感觉很好，尽管那种强迫的想法仍然还在，但是她正在接受心理治疗并开始试着去接受这种状态。让我亲自引导玛尼走通过她自己的考验就像是另外一种形式的暴露疗法。”

Pure is warm, sharply-scripted and darkly funny. Marnie’s thoughts, rendered as vignettes of her co-stars engaged in all manner of XXX-rated scenes (at one point she performs cunnilingus on her mum, played by Arabella Weir), toe a knowing line between oh-my-God-I-need-to-cover-my-eyes-now agonising and guffaw-worthy. It’s hard not to laugh when an inscrutable psychiatric doctor starts licking her own armpit.

《纯洁》是一部温暖的，尖锐黑暗的同时又不乏幽默的作品。玛尼的想法会一一种片断的方式出现，其中包括一些限制级的场面，当观众试图蒙上眼睛时最后会出现令人啼笑皆非的画面。

The various situations Marnie finds herself in with her growing gang of London friends are moving and hilarious, too. Most notable is Charlie (played by Joe Cole, of Black Mirror and Peaky Blinders), a recovering sex addict with a prehistoric flip phone; a product of his porn addiction that detonated his relationship and his career. Marnie meets Charlie when she misguidedly attends a Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting and their two yearning, slightly lost souls make a connection. There is complicated beauty in the way they share the most concealed parts of themselves and find solace.

同样的，玛尼和她在伦敦认识的朋友只见发生的许多事情也很感人搞笑。其中查理的角色最令人印象深刻（joe cole饰演），他是一个性成瘾患者，他的那部老式的翻盖手机成为了引爆他事业和人际关系的导火索，也成为了他色情成瘾症的产物。玛尼被误导参加了一个关于治疗性成瘾的匿名会议，在这里她遇到了查理，两人心有灵犀，互相分享各自内心里最深处的想法最终以美好的结局找到了各自的慰藉。

Pure will undoubtedly have a powerful effect on anyone, particularly young people, living with a private torment they don’t feel equipped to share. Society’s conversations about mental health are becoming broader and more nuanced all the time, but there can be no doubting the power of humanising the often gruelling day-to-day reality of living with a mental health problem. Pure feels transgressive enough to grab a young audience while communicating something important. At its heart, Pure’s message is one of hope.

影片毫无疑问是极具影响的，尤其是对那些有着类似隐秘痛楚却又找不到发泄出口的年轻人来说，社会对于这种心理健康一直都有着广泛且微妙的讨论，但是却没有形成一种使其变成一种人性化的力量来帮助那些正在遭受这种心理问题的人脱离苦海。而《纯洁》的出现恰恰给人带来了一线希望，尽管它饱受争议，但却牢牢地抓住了年轻观众的心。

“When I was a teenager I secretly watched things like Queer as Folk and Eurotrash in my bedroom,” says Swain. “I hope people do that with this.” It’s hard to imagine they won’t.

“我小时候经常悄悄地在房间里看《同志亦凡人》还有《欧洲杂谈》，”swain说道。“我希望人们也能这样，如果他们不能才奇怪呢。”